JRM
by StinphanieOTP
Summary: During an internet browsing session on his Power-PC, Pixel finds something out about LazyTown. Something quite unsettling. [Oneshot, Crackfic]


Pixel sighed at his screen. The small enjoyment found from clicking 'random page' on Wikipedia over and over could only last so long. "I'm so bored!" the boy moaned to himself. "What should I do? I have a wealth of information and entertainment on this computer. Why can't I decide what to do with it?!" After drumming his fingers on his desk for a short while, Pixel chuckled at a new idea. He hastily typed 'Pixel' into Google. "Let's see if there's anything about me on here!" The very thought that someone may have written about Pixel somewhere had created quite the air of excitement in the boy. Yet sadly, he had gotten his hopes up for nothing. "Aw, it's all just talking about the basic unit of programmable colour on a computer display or in a computer image. Nothing about people with the actual _name_ Pixel." He sighed. "Ah, I know!" Pixel dragged his mouse pointer back to the search box and hammered in a new search term. "LazyTown! Let's see if there's anything about our lovely old town here." Once again, Pixel got something unexpected. However this time, it was much _more interesting_ than he thought it would've been. Pixel gazed closely at his screen and rubbed his eyes, just to be they weren't deceiving him. "What is all this?" Pixel stroked an imaginary beard in confusion. The first three results that had popped up were a LazyTown website, a LazyTown Wikipedia page and a LazyTown YouTube channel. Next was a video titled ' _Lazy Town We Are Number One FULL EPISODE – Robbie's Dream Team_ '. Pixel was incredibly confused. He was glad there was at least something about his peaceful hometown, but he certainly wasn't expecting all of this! Intrigued, Pixel clicked on the website. "I didn't know we had a website." Upon the page loading, a large picture of two of Pixel's friends, Stephanie and Sportacus became plastered on the screen. Large flashy text advertised that there'd be 'a new adventure every morning' on Sprout.

"What on earth?" Pixel said to himself, slightly disoriented. "How did they get that picture of Stephanie and Sportacus?" Slightly disturbed, Pixel clicked back to the search results. It almost felt shady to be looking at this website. "I'll try the Wikipedia page." The very first line instructed that this article was about 'the series'. Apparently, a separate page had been written for the 'soundtrack'. "The series? The soundtrack? We're a town, not a TV show!" Pixel read further, speaking the words aloud to himself. "LazyTown is an Icelandic educational musical comedy program with a cast and crew from Iceland, the United States and the United Kingdom." Pixel trailed off. "Huh? I-I… what?" Pixel hurriedly clicked back. "Let's check out the video. I'm sure that'll clear everything up." Pixel tapped on the ' _Lazy Town We Are Number One FULL EPISODE – Robbie's Dream Team_ ' link.

Immediately, footage of Sportacus exercising in his airship began to play. "Where'd they get this footage?" On screen, Sportacus precariously balanced himself atop two balls. "Impressive." Next, Sportacus returned to his feet. "This is weird. Does Sportacus even know about this?" Pixel said to himself. Sportacus then turned to face the camera and spoke directly to the audience. "Well, I suppose that shows he does." Music then commenced. "This must be part of the 'soundtrack'."

Pixel listened closely to the lyrics. "Welcome to LazyTown, a place where you'll want to stay!" Sportacus was traveling around in his airship. However then, the footage changed. It swiftly turned to that of Stephanie. Of Ziggy, of Stingy and Trixie too. And then, Pixel gasped. He immediately paused the video. Pixel looked at the screen. It was him. He was in the video. Pixel shut the computer down. "Okay. Okay. Okay." Pixel attempted to assure himself everything was fine. "Not okay." Clearly, his attempts hadn't worked. He sat up from his chair and unsettledly hobbled over to his door. He struggled out into the open-air and took deep breaths. "I need to talk to Sportacus about this. He clearly was aware of the recording going on. Yet he didn't tell us?!" Pixel travelled over to the special Sportacus mailbox and shoved in a mail-capsule with a scratchy note inside.

* * *

Pixel nervously hummed to himself, anxiously clicking his fingers. "Come on Sportacus, what's the hold-up? I'm scared. Oh my god, I'm scared. I need you, Sportacus. I-I… me, and Stephanie, and all the other kids, and-and, everyone in LazyTown… we're all being spied on. I, just, please, hurry!" Tears watered in Pixel's eyes and he wiped them away. Yet when he looked back up, he saw Sportacus standing in front of him.

"What's the matter, Pixel?"

"Sportacus, we're being spied on!"

"...When you say that, what do you mean exactly?"

Pixel cried again and balled his fists up. "You know what I mean! I know all about that little 'show' of yours!" he said angrily.

"You're crazy, Pixel. That's a ridiculous idea." Sportacus said firmly.

"No, no, stop it!" Pixel squealed. "You're lying!"

"Don't say I'm lying, Pixel." Sportacus said as he grabbed Pixel by the arm. After a short second of speechlessness, Pixel immediately began thrashing out and kicking aimlessly. It was no use as Sportacus dragged Pixel along. "Stop embarrassing yourself. You don't want to set a poor role model for the audience." Pixel sniffed and gave up. He went limp and allowed himself to be dragged along by who he once considered to be a hero. "That's better." Sportacus hummed ' _No One's Lazy In LazyTown_ ' as he started to near the LazyTown border.

"Where are you taking me?" Pixel asked.

"You're being retired."

"What?"

"Your part in LazyTown. Poof. Gone."

"You can't do this!"

"Just watch me. It was easy to replace Stephanie when she acted up, it should be even easier with you."

"You replaced Stephanie!?"

"Twice, actually. In fact, if you count the stage plays, then-"

"I thought you were a hero, Sportacus. I looked up to you. But now, you're scum to me."

"Pixel, you're not making things any better for yourself."

"I don't care."

Sportacus sighed as he set Pixel down on the ground again. "Right, are you ready for the next bit?"

"No!" Pixel shouted as he punched Sportacus square in the face, causing a nosebleed to erupt. Shocked with himself, Pixel stared at his now blood-covered hand. "I-I…" Pixel turned to make a run for it, yet his shoulder was immediately grabbed by Sportacus.

"You bastar-…" Sportacus paused. "… little scamp." Pixel looked confused. "Have to keep things appropriate for the children, you see." Sportacus explained casually before transforming back into a man of anger.

"You're mad." Pixel said.

"That's what Stephanie number two said. In fact, she also did something like this." Sportacus said, motioning towards his new injury.

"Stephanie number two?!"

"I like to call her JRM."

"Why?"

"No reason. Just a nice set of letters."

"I can't believe this."

"Oh, don't you worry, you'll get to see her. In fact, I have a special place for people who get violent like you. I was going to just set you on your way, with a new life, like I did with Jives. But no, you had to do _this_."

"Oh god."

"No religious references please." Sportacus muttered. Pixel sighed as Sportacus lifted him onto his shoulder and carried him further into the unknown.

* * *

Eventually, they reached an abandoned-looking house. Sportacus carried Pixel through the front door and then kicked open the pitch-black basement, tossing Pixel inside and locking the door behind him. Pixel immediately started banging against the door.

"Sorry, Pixel, but I can't risk you blabbing. LazyTown needs to be a realistic show about everyday lives, and I will only get that from real, everyday people. People who are aware they're on film just aren't the same. See you later!" Pixel heard the sound of Sportacus flipping away from the door and back towards the town. The boy defeatedly turned around in an attempt to get a sense of where he was.

"Pixel?" Pixel heard a mature-sounding female voice say.

"Who's there?" Pixel said. His eyes were still adjusting to the darkness.

"It's me. Stephanie."

"…Which one?"

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Okay."

Once Pixel's eyes had finished adjusting, he finally managed to see who was in front of him. It was a Stephanie who appeared slightly older than the one he was used to. In a state of trembling fear and surprise, Pixel managed to ask some questions. "How long have you been here?"

"I've been here ever since that time when Sportacus travelled the world to save the toys."

"But that was over a year ago!"

"Well, _he-_ ", Stephanie started with an icy tone, "-said I was getting _too old_ to be his cute little Stephanie anymore."

"Oh my god. I can't believe this, I didn't even realise you'd been swapped. It must've been a great replacement."

"Wow, thanks."

"Sorry."

"Thing is, I don't get it. Why does my age matter?"

Stephanie sat down on the cold ground and rested her back against the wall. Pixel sat beside her. "I think I know." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"This whole time, Sportacus has been broadcasting our private lives. Thousands of hidden cameras, set up all over the town, detailing every single detail of our life."

"What?"

"Shown on 'Sprout' every morning. A TV show for kids."

"So, you mean…"

"Sportacus wanted to keep the status quo. The characters on his twisted 'show' couldn't age. So you had to be replaced with a new, younger Stephanie."

Stephanie nodded. "So why are you here? Oddly, you don't seem to have aged at all."

"I'm here because I found out about it."

"Damn."

"Yep." Pixel drummed his fingers on the floor as he gazed around the room. "So, err… what happens here?"

"You sit around for a week while Sportacus goes on adventures in LazyTown. Then at the weekend, Sportacus comes round for 22 minutes."

"What does he do?"

"Replenishes the water and food supplies. If he suspects you've been bad, he 'punishes' you."

"When you say 'punish'… what do you mean, exactly?"

"It varies on the level of the crime. Trying to communicate with the outside world, that's serious. You don't want to know what happens if he catches you doing that."

Pixel gulped. It seemed like this was his life now, forevermore. Permanently retired from LazyTown and replaced with a new Pixel. His life in tatters and his freedom torn. The whole life ahead of this innocent young boy was tarnished. The most tragic part is that the people in LazyTown wouldn't even realise. If 'JRM' could be replaced, Pixel sure could too. Life would continue as normal. Pixel brushed away a tear. His life had been a lie. Now It made sense. All those times where music would suddenly kick in, the second they were about to burst into song. It wasn't just a happy coincidence. Sportacus was in control this entire time, as if the kids of LazyTown were puppets. He knew when to start the music, when to play the sound effects, and in this case… when to replace an 'actor'.

Pixel curled up in a ball and closed his eyes. "In my cyber space," he quietly sang to himself with a tremble in his voice. "I'm feeling happy…" A sad, violin version of Gizmo Guy began to play in the background, seemingly from nowhere. "Because everything's in place…"

"Here on my floppy…" Pixel paused. He couldn't bring himself to sing the next line. His singing was replaced with sobbing. Yet, still, through the tears, he eventually managed to muster up the courage to continue. "It's true I can't deny…

I'm just a gizmo guy."

* * *

 **A/N: Please leave a review if you enjoyed - actually, leave a review if you didn't enjoy, too! Any feedback will help me improve. Thank you for reading my second LazyTown fic, even if I took this one even less seriously than my previous I still hope you enjoyed :)**

 **Hopefully the premise of this fic wasn't so obscure that nobody got it. ( _It was about Julianna Rose Mauriello ('JRM') being replaced with Chloe Lang and Kobie Powell being replaced with Ron Binion, if you didn't realise!_ )**


End file.
